The Maturity is not there...
Monday, January 12, 2009
2009 I do not deny started badly but it's slowly seeing some improvements... =)) School exams stress & friendship issues... Oh well but it's all like settled now... Gotta start working hard for school... Exams are round the corner... Few weeks' time...? Die die die... AY 08/09 is gonna end just like that while AY 09/10 is coming my way... Woah, better be ready to receive it and all the challenges that it may bring... Well, challenges make humans grow... Not physically, but emotionally and mentally...My mother's been telling me how much better my emotions are now, and how much more I'm more matured as compared to last time... When was the last time you might ask... Well I believe she was referring to when I was in secondary school... When I lost my temper like it cost me nothing and got all emo and depressed and wanted to give up... Hahaz... It was all this things I did that I reflect back to and grow up from... But I agree that there's still much to learn in this complicated world... Of course I'm gonna make my world simple so I don't get entangled with matters that do not concern me at all... One question that resurfaces into my mind is "What exactly is friendship???"... After so many years when I thought I found friends that I could bare my heart to and be myself in front of them turned out to be just normal acquaintances...? The feeling is scary; the feeling of strangers with someone you always thought you could be true to... Perhaps this is just another phase of my life I'm going through and will in turn, hopefully, learn from and matures... I'm starting to always think of what my sister says, "You are true to them but have you ever wondered whether they were ever true to you??? You treasure the friendship but does the other person treasures it???" I always told myself "of course la" We're like such good friends... Always telling my other friends, I'm lucky that I've friends like them... But perhaps that was all boasting... Maybe friends are like that... When they get sick & tired of you, they change and slowly but surely fade away from your life... The transiting period is tough but when it's over, you might even ask yourself why were we friends to begin with... Or even regret all those past actions... But for me maybe not, for everything I did I made sure I thought of it carefully...My only regret is the action that I've done in 2008 that brought the effects over to 2009... Cause & effect... Well, I deserved it... Another thing is I failed as a brother... I always thought as a brother I could change my sister, make them grow up and see things frm different perspectives... But I think I utterly failed... I guess I'm not as matured as how others think I am and how I see myself as... In truth, I'm just a childish bastard that needs more lessons...! Seriously, who did I think I was to teach someone... I'm just a normal 18-year-old kid...Of course being mature is not the stereotype "looking old", "quiet" or "strict"... It's in the thoughts and actions... How you treat others and how you talk about others... How you see life and how you handle problems... When to do the right thing and when to just do nothing... Yea the list can goes on and on... It's neverending... I'm not gonna write all of them here, as that's gonna be plain stupidity and time-consuming... Alright nothing more to write le... Just one sentence to wrap it all up: "It's like life's back to square one..."EddyBoy is Gone...
2:24 PM
Name: Kwek Jun Wei EDMUND
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